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June 1, 2011 / sharoncopy

Why destination weddings aren’t the best

“Oh, Mom, you should have seen it, it was so cool! We came out of the hotel and there was a white horse and carriage waiting for us and it took us to the beach, and we stood there and took our vows.”

Somehow there was a little sadness in Carrie’s voice. All she and Brad had wanted was a destination wedding, but when it really took place, there was hardly anyone there to share the occasion with them. Nobody saw the gown. Nobody heard the vows. Nobody laughed at the missteps. Nobody threw rice or whatever is acceptable to throw these days. Nobody prayed the Lord’s Prayer with them.

Here is the problem: Weddings are NOT just for the couple, folks. They are a family and friends occasion. Your grandmother and aunt took care of you when you were little and your siblings loved you and were there for all your special times and so were certain other people who have known you all of your life. And now, on the most special occasion of your life, you cut them out. It leaves them feeling sad.

That’s what destination weddings are: cutting out the family and friends to just go and do it yourself somewhere.

I suppose it’s just a new way to look at weddings: it’s just about “us” and that’s all. Maybe I’m too old to not feel left out.

You say they are invited? Is it really an option for them to spend the money to come?

I am just saying to think about it. Some are doing it because it is “cheaper” than the big weddings in the neighborhood and some are doing it because it seems all romantic. Some don’t want the fuss of all the plans.

Well, you don’t have to have all the fuss and expense in order to get married locally. And you can have your Aunt Bertha and your little brother and your neighbor who has known you all of your life there, too.

Then go to your “destination” for your honeymoon – by yourselves. (Do you really want to run into relatives on your honeymoon in Cancun?)

So, about these inexpensive plans…. next time.

One Comment

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  1. Cat / Jun 1 2011 2:36 pm

    I totally agree – unless there is a problem in the extended family that is too much to handle. I know someone who flew off to ‘the islands’ because the mother of the groom wanted to take over the plans and things were getting pretty difficult. So they dropped all the ‘at home’ wedding plans and flew off to do their vows in quiet – just them and their best friends. Every family has a different situation.

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