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As of Jan. 11 2016, I will only be able to work as a sub on Mondays and Wednesdays and half a day on Fridays, due to my schedule at Henry Ford College where I am in my last semester to receive my Graphic Arts: Print Design Certificate.

Monday: Morning was Kindergarten and afternoon was 5th grade. This week I am to read to all of the classes about Martin Luther King, Jr., and I enjoy telling them details about the pre-1970s racism. They are quite shocked to learn that there were separate schools and that black people couldn’t vote or go to some restaurants or even use some bathrooms. I love being able to tell them about the strides that have been made thus far (more is necessary, but for today – learning about the struggle is enough.) I start by telling about pre-public school era when only people with money could get educated.

Wednesday: Kindergarten at the Montessori school – it was a pretty good day, overall – many enjoyable moments. They loved the “Five Little Bluebirds” song and the “Pizza Hut Song”. The only thing I hate there is dismissal time. There ought to be a better way, but I can’t think of one. The kids put on their coats, hats, gloves, etc. around 3 pm and then have to sit (watching a movie – but still – after sitting most of the day, it’s hard!) until their parent arrives and their name is called on the walkie-talkie. The other teacher in the room with me (2 classes combine so some teachers are free to freeze outside keeping the line of cars moving and helping the K-2nd graders into their cars) was rather – strident (I’ll leave aside the term I was actually thinking of.) And all I could think of was, “How good can it be for 5 year olds to be forced to sit here in all this hot clothing, not allowed to move around, for nearly an hour, being constantly yelled at for every little thing they do?” By the time I left, I felt very stressed, mostly just from listening to her berate this one and that in an effort to maintain control. I must admit to also saying a few comments to them in a not-so-friendly voice. I’d also like to convince them to call the room number first and then say the kids’ names, because when they read off several names and then mention the room number, I can’t remember the names that they called. We have to call the kids to go to the door. Sometimes the people outside just call names and forget to say room numbers – doesn’t help us subs at all since we don’t know the kids’ names.

Here’s an idea for homeland security: gather all the Kindergartners from nearby areas and have them play near the southern border – NOBODY will be able to do ANYthing illegal without them discovering it and reporting it immediately. 🙂  Of course, first, you will need supervisors to train them, break up their arguments, and ensure who-goes-first-in-line on a daily basis.

Nice to be back with the little ones in Melvindale today. I really enjoyed teaching them “Five Little Bluebirds” and “Pizza Hut Song” and they loved it. There were a few times that it seemed like I was herding cats, but for the most part, they were a fun bunch, and they did almost all of the work that was set out for them.

“Stay off the ice.”
“I’m not a door – don’t knock on me.”
“Okay, this is the third time I’m explaining this – please listen.”
“Do I look like your teacher? Then don’t think that I will always act like her.”
“Sit down. Sit down. Sit down. Go to your seats. Sit down. I will not answer your question if you walk up to me. Sit down. Stay in your seat and raise your hand and I will come and help you. Why are you out of your seat? Sit down. I don’t know why you are out of your seat. Sit down.”

After finishing one assignment, they were given another one. After finishing that one, I  mentioned working in their “busy notebooks” but most of them were happy to just chat and gravitate towards their friends. One boy, though, came and asked, “What am I supposed to be doing right now?” It was so sweet – he was so concerned to be doing the right thing. 🙂

The word of the day: Sextillion. I got to introduce a 4th grade class in Plymouth to the largest numbers they have ever heard of – it was pure fun writing all those zeroes and commas on the board. I wrote in millions, billions, trillions, quadrillions, quintillions – and then – and then – I wrote and said sextillion, and the entire class lost their minds and manners. It really was humorous, but I had to calm them all down before it got too crazy. I haven’t had that big of a reaction since I was in a Kindergarten class and I read a book that had the word “underwear” in it.

I got called into the principal’s office today. I spent two days with these kids and most of them were fun to be with, but two of them were not. J. had to be marked down on the discipline chart and he was mad, really mad. He wouldn’t leave the classroom and finally took mini-baby steps while the class waited for him to get out of the room so I could walk them to the gym at the end of the day. I walked up behind him in an effort to gently move him foreward and he yelled, “Don’t push me!” I backed off and just had to wait for him to move. He went home and told his mother that the substitute teacher pushed him. She was livid – called the principal, who called me and J. to discuss it. No doubt this distracted the mother from concentrating on J’s bad report for the day. The principal was going to call her back with the explanation – I was nicely admonished not to touch the students even in such a gentle manner.

Then there’s M. She feels she should be able to say whatever she wants whenever she wants – she thinks she is being helpful when she “corrects” me and her fellow students. She thinks I hate her because when her behavior led her to lose 5 minutes of recess, and then another 5 minutes of recess – she apologized and asked to get her recess back and I said no. Asked again. No. Asked again. No. Finally I said she would lose one more minute of recess every time she asked again. She asked again. 11 minutes of no recess. “Why do you hate me so much?”  By the end of the day I put her into the hall for a short while rather than give in to temptation to say something that I shouldn’t.

The weirdest thing in these two days was that I totally balked at doing the Science experiment. I just freaked out at the entire idea. The other times I have had to do them, it has generally not gone well because I do not know the subject matter, there are numerous and sometimes expensive itsy-bitsy pieces involved, and 30 students whose names I don’t know all asking questions, messing around with the stuff, arguing, doing it wrong, not listening to directions, and being silly. The very thought of doing these experiments (even though they were batteries/wires/bulbs/motors and such – a step up from the meal worm yuck) stressed me no end. So – we skipped Science the first day. Then I went to the other 4th grade teacher and asked if she might be willing to do the Science class while I supervised some other activity in her room. She agreed, adding that she’d like me to also do her outdoor recess duty, which I actually quite enjoy. All was well. So they are one day behind, but I’m sure the class’s teacher will manage. It’s actually very rare for teachers to leave Science experiments for a sub to handle.

The other 4th grade teacher was telling a colleague about how difficult it is to have a field trip nowadays. She said it usually takes about 50 hours to plan one – much of that on her own time, with her own cell phone minutes. This includes all the calls, planning, finding a bus (school districts don’t have their own buses anymore – they use a service), finding chaperones and getting them all checked by the State Police, and of course, finding the money or asking the parents to pay for it. Her upcoming trip to the capitol in Lansing is costing $15/child – which is to cover the cost of the transportation – there is no admission fee! Worst of all, she got a call this week from the bus service that they couldn’t find a bus for her after all, and so she spent numerous more hours getting the situation rectified. No surprise that most classes go on either zero or one field trip per year.

Smiles and squeals everywhere. The third graders reveled in playing “Hungry, Hungry Hippo” in P.E. yesterday. I had gathered a couple dozen squishy balls and placed them in the center of the gym. With one child from each team on a slider board with another child “driving” them by holding their feet – they pushed them towards the center where they took a large orange Home Depot bucket to capture one ball and then slide on back to home base for the next person’s turn. It looked so fun that I was tempted to try it myself. 🙂

Not so, for the fourth graders at the charter school in Detroit. Both classes were so uncooperative that I gave up after awhile, and simply let them run around the gym shooting baskets and pelting one another with the balls. I was reminded of why I generally don’t take sub jobs in the upper grades at that school.

The next day I was in Westland in high school history classes. The students were required to work on their info packets and keep their voices, as I like to say, “Low voices or no voices.” I even let them listen to music with their phones, after learning that school policy prevents teachers from taking phones away or even touching them! (In some cases, teachers can tell students to place their phone into a box.) Still – some students saw the class as a free for all, and while I probably should have written up more of the students, I limited it to the two who not only kept on talking, but were disrespectful and argumentative as well. Yeah, I enjoyed writing out that discipline form.

During one of the quiet classes, I sketched a student and later gave the sketch to her (to her delight). I had a few fun conversations with various teens before and at the end of the classes also. Still, starting at 7 (although I was late because I got the assignment late) and ending at 2 – the day seemed longer – to be in 4th period and still saying “Good morning” seemed – weird.

There’s a pace at which the hundreds of Livonia high school students walk through the 400 hallway. Six abreast, heading for lunch or their next class, they walk, like a legion of off-duty warriors. I stepped into the throng. There was no way to pass, to advance, to hurry any faster. Everyone walked at the exact same speed towards the center of the school, while 1-2 abreast walked in the other direction on the other side of the hallway. This was a curious thing that I haven’t experienced in other high schools. As we grew near to the central hallway, traffic slowed as students prepared to break away – to the right, to the left, straight ahead, merging seamlessly with the cross traffic.

A funny thing – since the kids don’t know me – I  walk through the entire school, passing hundreds of people – and the only people who will smile, nod, say hello, or otherwise acknowledge my existence – are the adults. I understand it, but still find it strange. I’m only a sub, an unknown, and only relevant to their existence if I show up in their class.

I subbed for 3 10th-grade Chemistry and 2 9th-grade Biology classes from Tuesday through Friday. It went well. My job was to hand out assignments and keep them on task, industrious, and quiet. I took away a few phones each day (returned at the end of the hour). I wrote up a few students for disturbing the peace. I left a few notes about students who just didn’t do the work (although he will likely know when he sees who turned in what when he returns.) I enjoyed chatting with them towards the end of each class period. I like people, no matter their age.

I drew a couple of one-panel cartoons, read part of a good book, policed the aisles to make sure students were actually working on Science (or at least looked like it), and sketched a few of the students – usually choosing someone with interesting hair. 🙂

“I don’t like doing things that I don’t like to do,” said the 15 year old who is switching schools and was on his last day in Livonia. I talked to him very adamantly about laziness, the work world, and how he shouldn’t waste all his time now. “I figure now’s the time to have fun because later I won’t be able to spend all this time on video games and stuff.” Too bad he doesn’t realize that stocking up on tons of fun now won’t hold over in future years – if anything, it will just make him want to keep it going.

This week: I did Kindergarten in Melvindale yesterday and for the rest of the week I’m subbing for Chemistry/Biology in a Livonia high school. Today went very well, so I suspect that the rest of the week will also. Another remarkable happening was the appearance of several “flour children” in the class. One of the classes has assigned the students to carry around 10 lb bags of flour dressed as babies. They have to keep them with them at all times, or get a sitter, keep them safe, and they even have to email their teacher between 2 and 4 a.m. every night. 🙂 I enjoyed seeing the “babies”, hearing their names, and, of course, talking with the girl who had 2  five pound twin boy flour children. 🙂

Best idea I saw this week: in a Kindergarten class – they had an entire file cabinet drawer filled with construction paper in hanging files – sorted by color. How very convenient!

Best help for a sub: a  first grade teacher printed off a page of labels with all the kids’ names on them! This was SO helpful. I asked the kids to come to the desk, put the label on each of them and marked the attendance list at the same time. All day I called them by name instead of saying “you – in the pink shirt”. So easy to do, teachers!

This week I was in 5 schools in 4 days, K, 1st, 4th, and two stints as the art teacher in an upper elementary. That involved supervising them making torn-paper collages, and reading and discussing a book about the five senses.

Suffice it to say that it was a very good week, except for one afternoon with 4th grade in Redford (across the street from my house) where the poor behavior got me a bit riled up. About ten kids (and 4 in particular) just would not cooperate and quiet down, so I accomplished as much as I could. At one point I sent a kid to the office with a note asking for the principal to come by for some back up, but no one came. Oh well. I decided not to let it bother me since I was trying everything I could think of, and some of it worked at least for awhile. I do find that the MOST annoying thing of all is the kid who constantly comes up to me to ask irrelevant questions or make irrelevant comments – obviously just avoiding work and garnering attention. I did put one girl in the hallway, finally. I didn’t know if the school would approve of that procedure, but since they weren’t providing any assistance, at that moment I didn’t care. She kept knocking and I ignored it while I read and discussed a book with the rest of the class. I sent another boy to the office. I have a strong sense of wanting the rest of the kids – who have to put up with these jokers – to have a chance at learning something that day.

Jokers never consider what they steal from the rest of the group. I’m sure that in high school and college (where I was an occasional joker) I never did.

I couldn’t get the projector to work. Generally aiming the remote at it from the teacher’s desk is sufficient. One Kindergartner jumped up and came over and said, “You have to stand over here!” and he went to the middle of the carpet directly underneath the projector. Sure enough – that worked – I thanked him and gave him a high-five. Who says 5 year-olds aren’t smart? Not me.

Today I started with only half a day of work, but I’m thankful that I was asked to stay for the second half as well. Monday I had to take off for personal reasons, and Wednesday through Friday the schools are closed for Thanksgiving, so at least I got one full day. And – it was a good one.

This teacher is super-organized and it was a delight to work in her room. The kids were very cooperative (as far as 5-year-olds go) and I enjoyed teaching them. Last week, the song “Five Little Bluebirds in the Nest” popped into my head and I taught it to a class – so I taught it to this one today as well, and later on added – you guessed it – the “Pizza Hut Song” too. I’m thinking that the subtitle to my book about subbing should include something to that effect. 🙂

Have a blessed Thanksgiving everyone! I watched about 5 minutes of a Macy’s parade with the kids (it was shown in their music class) and I thought: one of these years I want to go downtown and see the Detroit parade again – just for old times’ sake. Apparently, since Hudson’s is no more, it is sponsored by Art Van Furniture.

I sat at a U-shaped table with 5 cute Kindergartners, including Mallory and Kayleigh, as the parapro led the class opening. A tone signaled time for the Pledge and we all stood. Mallory earnestly whispered and signaled to me, “You have to put your hand like this,” demonstrating how I needed to quickly put my right hand over my heart. “Okay,” I said, trying not to smile. “You have to turn and face the flag,” she added, pointing. Kayleigh nodded vigorously. “Thank you!” I responded. They shot me a glance in the middle of the procedure, pleased and maybe a little surprised that I knew all the words. It was all – SO SWEET – how they wanted to be helpful to their guest.

Monday to Wednesday mornings this week I was in a very easy job: Jr. Air Force ROTC. The highest ranking student in the class runs the show and I was just there for back-up and some direction. I did a lot of reading and did one drawing.

There was a guy named Jonas in the third class who was in charge the first day because the usual leader was absent. He was very adamant about every rule, telling kids to turn off phones, stop sleeping and read, etc. On the second day, he wasn’t in charge, and I couldn’t help but notice that his behavior was entirely different. In fact, I had to speak to him several times to be quiet, get busy, etc. and at the end of the class he and another student threw pens at one another. I toyed with the idea of telling him that leadership ALSO means being an example to others of how to follow one’s leaders, but after the pen-throwing incident, I decided to just leave a short note for the teacher (Sgt. somebody) and let him address the issue.

Overall, I was far more impressed with the leader in the first period, who spoke to the students in a firm, yet not degrading manner. If I had to have a leader, I’d take Anthony over Jonas any day. This guy will be a leader.

On Thursday I was in a Kindergarten in Melvindale, which, as usual, went well, though of course very busy (especially after the cushy JROTC gig for three days). But in the afternoon, I went to a very challenging student body in Inkster (Westwood District, it’s called) which I have been avoiding so far this year. Half a day – 4th grade, how bad could it be?

Well, it was very frustrating. I tried clipping kids up for doing well, but it just set off those who weren’t doing well. I tried clipping kids down for continuous disruption, but they just disrupted more. I sent two kids to the office (or was it three?) I finally decided to ditch the last of the work and just read to them, but it was not to be. I can’t just read to a class where people keep continually talking. Maybe I would need to learn to do so. I just couldn’t figure out how to make education happen (although we did get through some math problems) so maybe I should have just sat back and kept them from fighting and settled for that. But no, I want the majority of the kids to have a chance to learn, and I suppose I want to feel successful, that I have done the lesson plan. But when there are so many (10?) who just keep disrupting/talking etc. – I’m afraid I didn’t handle it well.

When I first got there, the teacher told me within the hearing of the class that they are a very bad class. Not sure that’s wise. Another teacher was yelling, screaming at them and other students, and I thought of two words to describe her – and they both end in -itch. It really was very nasty sounding and she looked so angry even out at recess where many kids were being punished for talking in line (?) and other infractions by having to miss recess fun. I know we need something to punish them with, but I also think that taking their recess away is often counter-productive because they don’t have the chance to run and yell.
Well, by the end of the day I was tempted to imitate her actions, and I don’t like feeling that way. I made some comments which probably weren’t helpful, although I didn’t let loose with everything I felt like saying. (Was it wrong to tell an extremely disruptive student that he was the rudest person I’d met in a long time?) I went to the car, called Dennis, and cried. Then I went to IHOP for dinner before my college class, for some good comfort food (french toast, egg, bacon). Mmmmmmmmmm.

Great ideas from the kindergarten where I worked in Canton (and met Mallory and Kayleigh) on Friday: 1. When a student didn’t finish some work, they were to mark it HW and put it in their take home folder. 2. The parapro chose a student to be a helper during calendar time, which ensured that she would do everything in the exact order that the kids are used to (months, days of the week, counting, sight words, weather, etc. is all part of calendar time.)
3. Whenever the kids got the answer right, or if the parapro gave the answer, then she would say, “Did you think the right answer? If you did, kiss your brain.” The kids would kiss their hands and then transfer that kiss to their heads. 4. Instead of “Give me Five” or some of the other silence-prompts I’ve heard, this parapro did the “shave and a haircut” start – “Bump, bum, bum, bump, bump” and the kids would answer, “Bump bump!”  She also had one where she said, “Macaroni and Cheese” and the kids responded, but I didn’t catch the response. 5. They chose jobs for the day – putting just the first letter for each job onto the board – then drawing names out of a bin.

Friday afternoon I was in a second grade in Canton, and I saw a great game out on the playground – it’s called Gagaball. It’s an octagon-shaped wooden enclosure built with 1 x 10 boards and large, wide green hinges. A whole class of kids can go inside (diameter was maybe – 20 ft?) and they play by hitting a soft “gym-ball” with their hands only. If the ball touches a person’s leg, s/he is “out”. The kids seem to really enjoy it – many going after the ball, and some just avoiding it. Of course, a teacher had to keep an eye on the game (two boys in my class nearly got into a fight) but WOW, what a great playground item!

“We had a sub today,” I overheard the 3rd grader say to his grandfather on the way out of the school building. “Better than usual.” He saw me coming towards him. “She’s approaching us right now!”

I was surprised and pleased to hear him use that word. He’s a student who needs some extra help, but he’s obviously got a good vocabulary.

I’ve been in Redford, Plymouth and Livonia lately, twice in high school, 3 times in elementary schools.

Redford now has an alternative high school. This is a fantastic idea, and I wrote about one up in Swartz Creek when I was the editor of Swartz Creek Life magazine a while back. Setting up programs where they can do most or all of their studying online is a great way to keep kids in school and lower that 26% Michigan dropout rate that existed two years ago (I don’t know what it is now).

When I arrived, the principal told me “no bad language and no disrespect – send them next door to me if there’s any problems.” I actually felt more comfortable with these kids than I have in some of the other high school classrooms – maybe because I am SO much for this program? Maybe because I was just supervising them in a computer lab? Maybe because there were fewer of them than in a traditional classroom?  I did have to re-direct some of them to stay on task.

After several warnings I told one student to move to another part of the room because of his incessant talking. A while later I told another student to do the same. “What? I’m not doing anything.” (I could have said: Exactly.) I gave him the choice of moving to another row (closer to me) OR going to the principal. He chose the principal! A few minutes later the principal came to ask me what had happened. When I told him and mentioned the choice, incredulous, he whipped his head around and said to the student, “and you CHOSE to come to me instead?”

“I didn’t do nothin’,” the student responded. Riiiiiiight. I just sit there and make up stuff to pick on all of them for no reason.

I intended to make a list of some of the names I’ve seen lately – maybe I will. But what intrigued me at the alternative school was that I saw at least 10 versions of DeShaun. Teshawn. Dry’Shaun. No exaggeration. I’ve also seen Paris, Zeus, Ezra, Roman, Pinkie, and a few names I can’t remember how to spell. One boy only had one name. In another class I had Mohamed Saleh and Saleh Mohamed, along with a boy named Mohanad. I have gotten to know the districts well enough now that I can guess at the nationalities that I will encounter.

Best idea: A nifty folder or clipboard holder – with two of them next to each other they made a half circle with translucent colored clipboards protruding at every angle – nice.

In Plymouth last week, I had the nicest class of mixed 3rd/4th graders. Every time I said, “Class, class” and they responded “Yes, Yes” they were dead quiet. It was so nice I hated to ruin it by speaking! I would be this class’s teacher ANY day. I had all of them clip up on the behavior chart at the end of the day and I overheard several saying, “My mom is going to be SO proud of me.”  We had slightly inclement weather, so for afternoon recess we took a vote whether to go outside or not. Outside won. It was cold and sprinkling a little at first but then it cleared up. I let the nay-sayers stay near the doorway. There were several really helpful kids in the class took especially a boy named Keigan. 🙂 It is amazing how wonderful teaching is when you don’t have to spend so much time keeping order. 🙂  Of course, maybe I just got them on one of their best days, but, wow, it was great. We had a few extra minutes at the end so I revived the old “Pizza Hut Song” – which most of them were delighted with.